Shyness and Presence

In her book, Empower Your Presence, Catherine Bell illustrates how even the quality trait “shy” can magnify your presence positively.

People with presence are not always outwardly strong and confident. This is true with people who are shy. Typically, when shy people compare themselves to those who are outgoing, they are hard on themselves because they feel that they do not measure up. They are not aware of the positive impact they can have on others.

When Dan Stelter, author of the Anxiety Support Network¹, was a guest writer on the Life Optimizer blog,² he listed these seven things that shy people often see as weaknesses, which actually are positive traits and I believe they add to an empowered presence:

1. Cautious thinking: When faced with difficult problems, carefully thinking through things instead of making snap decisions will result in positive outcomes. This can add to one’s reputation, increasing personal and professional success.
    
2. Meekness can make you approachable: People are more comfortable approaching someone who is not aggressive and outspoken, potentially setting the stage for establishing beneficial relationships.
    
3. Being quiet leads to a calming effect on others: People view someone who is quiet as being calm, which can have a profound, positive impact during times of crises and turmoil.
    
4. Appearing vulnerable is great for certain jobs: In various humanservice sectors, such as counselling or therapy, appearing vulnerable as many shy people do, encourages others to feel safe and open up.
    
5. Shy people appear to be innocent or good: Compared to forceful individuals, people respect and trust those who are less dominant, opening up many possibilities for them to connect with others and broaden their networks.
    
6. Shy people tend to be more believable: Aggressive, outgoing people sometimes are viewed as self-serving; whereas, shy people give the impression that their interests are not central so they are believed and trusted.
    
7. Being shy leads individuals to learn how to overcome barriers: Shy people who want to be successful know that their shyness could hold them back from involvement in things most others enjoy with ease. When it is important, they will usually find a way around obstacles and continually look for opportunities to improve.

From an early age, Mahatma Gandhi was a very shy person. In fact, even as a lawyer in his early 30s, he could barely speak in front of a judge. He was unsuccessful in his profession, until he found the right cause and set about overcoming stumbling blocks created by his shyness. I am sure most people would agree that Gandhi, one of the major political and spiritual leaders of his time, had great presence and profoundly influenced the world.

Excerpted from Empower Your Presence. © Knowledge Bureau, Inc. All rights reserved.

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¹ http://www.anxietysupportnetwork.com/index.php

² Stelter, Dan, “7 Strengths Shy People Have,” 2012, http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2011/04/08/strengths-shy-people-have/